It’s been a while since I blogged. It’s currently 3:05am and I can’t sleep. I have 21 days left of being 20.. yup 21 until 21. Maybe that should have been the title, but thats not what this post is about.
Instead, this is about something that I’ve recently come to realize- for the first time in college I”m wading in the waters. I’m lost in the sea of college. I came into college and shortly after I was connected with a group, they became my family, they stayed my family because we all swam together. Then I got another group of friends, we became family because we always hung out together. This year, both families dissolved. I had to drop swimming and the other group dismembered. So now where am I? In the middle. In the awkward middle. The part that doesn’t know for sure who is exactly a friend anymore. The part that is confused as to where to sit at lunch, so she often sits alone. No longer do I hang out with people, instead it’s my bed that I see most often.
I’m learning a lot about myself. I’m having to rely on myself more. This year is the hardest and it’s the one is going to hold the most challenges.
Right now, I must wade, because I don’t have the strength to swim and drowning is not an option. So I’ll wade in the waters.