In Psych we learned about Carl Rogers and his belief of conditions of worth and unconditional positive regard. Basically the dude was saying that parents shouldn’t establish conditions of love for their kid, basically love the kid for the kid.
As a kid, my parents set up conditions of worth, the biggest one for me being grades. You made good grades, you were loved, you made bad grades you weren’t ( side note, i know my parent’s loved me but it came across as if they didn’t.. ok just puttin that out there) So what did my little self do? I stressed about grades. Now, I was a smart kid dont get me wrong. Things came naturally to me and so I succeeded. I never really studied in grade school. While I worked in the class to do well because I knew that if I did, I’d gain some attention, I didn’t do a lot of out of class work. Here I am 3 years later in college and I”m frustrated with myself because of how my conditions of worth and lack of outside effort are effecting my grades. College is different in the sense that even if the teacher doesn’t teach the info, your still responsible for it. My conditions of worth still revolve around grades and in my mind the fact that I’m close to losing HOPE, I’m a failure.
I know I’m not, but this is what I’ve been told for so long. I wish I could alter my conditions of worth. I’m working on my behavior and this term really taught me a lot.