Since I wrote the first blog about the competition I’ve had some fears.
The fear of not getting supported. The fear of not having a spot in the competition. The fear of past habits kicking in. The fear of cheating. The fear of lack of accountability. The fear of embarrassment.
The biggest fear though was : The fear of failing.
I often set high standards and fail. I have a history of not finishing what I started. I know what’s weighing on this. My health, my future, my supporters. I don’t want to let people down, and I don’t want to see my future damages anymore.
That’s why I’m just committing myself to the end of each day. Every day I will be the best I can be. My fears will serve as motivation to push me forward. I pray that during this people would see something in them they need to work on, and feel challenged to do so. I pray that some college girl out there who is classified as obese feels encouraged to know this doesn’t have to be your life. I pray that some girl who has been purging herself so she can feel thin realizes that it doesn’t work, and that there’s a better way. Most of all I pray that through this, the glory of God would shine through my actions and allow others to see the awesome transforming power of our Lord.