Growing up I found contentment in the tangible things. Books that would take me captive and make me part of their world. Food that would consume me and fill me with its indulging goodness. Pornography that would suffice my fleshly desires. Alcohol that would reduce all my mental frustrations. Diets that would allow me to be in charge. Workouts that would leave me on an endorphin kick. True Love Waits that made me believe I was more loved by God because I was waiting.
I spent years grasping after these things just wanting to be content. I’d go hunting after each like a hungry wolf just praying that one would leave me full for the night. Yet time and time again I returned home emptier than I left it.
The days of running and waiting to be full are the over now. No longer do I want to be the girl who sits beside her lovely Christmas tree waiting for Mr.Right to come sweeping me off my feet. No longer do I wish to be the girl sharing the stories of the fantasy date that ended in the perfect kiss. No longer does my heart dream of what a kiss even tastes like. No longer do I run between the content of starving myself just to run out on a drive-thru binge.
No. I’m done. I’m done because God says my contentment is no longer in these earthly pleasures that will one day fade away. Now my contentment is found in the one who came so I don’t have to spend my life waiting. The one who came to break me of the things that held my heart captive. The one who came already loving me despite the ugliness of my sin.
My content now lies in Christ, because I know now in my highs and lows He is all I need now.