To Those Who Are Searching

Dear Sister, 

Your left ring finger still is bear and the fourth wedding invite of that dear college friend is tacked to the fridge hanging amongst the others ( tis the season.) Mockingly they remind you of your marital status and for what feels like the hundredth time this year alone, you bow your head and mumble out a prayer to your Heavenly Father asking when it will be your turn. Where your perfect man is and why you haven’t found each other yet. 

What you feel is silence. You think He’s not listening. Yet truth be told, your heart is His best interest, and He isn’t ready to share you yet. 

You have this list. This list that’s hidden on page 48 of the journal under your mattress. The one no other set of eyes have seen, yet it’s the list you use to scour the potential suitors with. We as single women who have waited are told God’s saving the perfect man for us. So we wait. We try to match new guys up to our lists and they miss the mark every time. 

And they will.Every time, they will.

You see there is only one perfect person who ever walked this earth. Your future spouse will not be perfect and while we’re on the topic, you’re not either. Chances are there are great guys in your midst and because they lack one thing, you think surely they can’t be the one. They can’t be Mr. Right because they aren’t Mr. Perfect. 

I was one who was always told I’d get Mr. Perfect. Years went on and I remained single. Every guy I met, I tried to make fit the list. After a discussion with my pastor, I made the decision to do something my 16 year old self would have yelled at me for: I destroyed the list. After that, I began to embrace my relationship with Christ, Now I would still joke about being the single girl and looking for a guy,but when the man who I currently am growing to love came along- I wasn’t searching. 

Here’s the kicker though: He’s not perfect. Nor am I. Yet because we both have a relationship with God that we both grow deeper in outside of our relationship,we work. Why? Because the Gospel is at work in us. 

Sister, if there is one thing I want to leave you with it’s this, The Gospel isn’t about finding the perfect man. It’s about finding the man who is flawed and despite his flaws he shows you the only perfect thing- Jesus. So stop searching for Mr. Perfect. In fact I would say just stop searching. Start living in your relationship with Jesus. One day He will bring a man into your life in the least expectant way and when He does, be ready.

Love,

Your beloved Sister

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2 thoughts on “To Those Who Are Searching

  1. I love you. I love your wisdom. I love this post. And I love watching Christ shape and mold you into His image! Hope so many single gals see this, Kaela. Well said.

  2. This is beautifully written! I wish more women (of all ages) could read this…and I also wish we, as a culture, would stop fussing so much about when our single friends will find “the one.” So much unnecessary pressure….and so many overlooked blessings that come from from living life single.

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