Weighing In On The Journey

August 27th. My progress update day. What started in 2012 and was updated in 2013 and 2014, suddenly found a stop this year. Why? What kept me from sharing unlike the years before?

The visible changes. Those were what stopped me. The changes in the picture from last year to this year don’t show progress towards a “skinner” me. No they in fact reveal some weight gain.

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Yes in 2015 I gained some weight. A number of variables played a role in that but to be honest, I believe my journey towards health is shifting. It took a chat with a dear friend of mine yesterday that opened my eyes. See in 2015 there was progress. It’s just not progress you would outwardly see. In the year between Aug 27 2014 and Aug 27 2015 I competed in my first federational powerlifting meet. I set the USPA  GA state record in my squat and as well as meet total. I had a 45 lb pr in my deadlift. Since then I’ve seen my lifts only increase. In that time frame I also got engaged and married. In that time frame I also feel in love with RPM and am now headed to training in hopes of being an instructor. In that time frame I let go of some disordered eating habits. I still have bad days, but don’t we all. In that time frame I had probably one of the biggest achievements of them all, and it’s one you’d never see from the outside., I stopped taking diet pills. I had become addicted to them. Now though, just like in the beginning, I want my efforts and hard work to get the credit for this journey.

I don’t know where my journey is headed right now. I’m no longer fixated on a number on the scale or my clothes. What once were tools to measure success and define me, now no longer apply. My journey is health. My journey is athleticism. My journey is inspiring others to make small daily changes that would result in lifelong habits. When I started this journey, I didn’t know where the journey would lead me. It’s had it’s bumps and bruises, it’s had its detours, but at the end of the day it’s ultimately had the life God’s called me to at its foundation. This journey would be nothing without the cause of my Savior. I’m working on being a vessel He can use for as long as He’s called me to. That’s my new destination.

So here’s to the journey that’s now 4 years old. May the hard days be evident of His strength and the good days be an echoing of His grace. May my actions never cease to glorify Him and may the journey always reflect the love He shed on me.

Suck It In

I see you there. In the morning your the first thing I see. In the midst of the hip track in BodyFlow, you are there. In the pain of mountain climbers, I feel you push your way above the band of my shorts. I try to hid you with my compression shorts but it doesn’t matter. I still see you there. I have since I was little and no matter how much I try, I can never suck you in.

  Dear Gut- that little pouch of skin that drops above my shorts, you are a piece of my journey and one that no matter how much I want to hid, you still find ways to make yourself known.

I once hated you so much that I would wrap you in Saran Wrap with lotions underneath in hopes that it would make you “more tone” and drop a few inches. It didn’t. To me, you were the sign that I still wasn’t healthy. I wasn’t healthy because you weren’t flat. I wasn’t desired because you were still there. I couldn’t inspire others because you still jiggled. 

Yet I’ve come to learn and love something. My body. Which includes you. 

You’re  the softness that catches me when I drop in my hovers. You’re a reminder of my journey. You don’t define my health, you define how far I’ve come. And even if your never flat and you still jiggle in class, I will still love you because I love me. 
This post was inspired by a dear friend this morning in the gym when we shared our stomachs and fears of them never being flat. Ladies all around I want to encourage you to love you for you. Yes become a healthy you.  But do it while loving you. While making healthy choices that lead to a better and stronger life for you and your family. We are created in the image of God- which means we are all beautiful. Be a beautiful you in whatever way that means because by doing so, you represent God and his handiwork. Today and everyday- love you.